Powerlessness and Unmanageability Pt. III

“…the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind.” Alcoholics Anonymous “The Doctor’s Opinion” p. xxvi When we last left off, my life had begun spiraling downward with an even greater ferocity. I had spent what should have been a wonderful family holiday reunion constantly drunk and it had become increasingly apparentContinue reading “Powerlessness and Unmanageability Pt. III”

Powerlessness and Unmanageability Pt. II

“…Their alcoholic life seems the only normal one.” Alcoholics Anonymous, “The Doctor’s Opinion” p. xxviii Where we left off the last time, the end of my junior year of high school, things were just beginning to become unravelled in a lasting and meaningful sense. I left Tennessee that Summer and headed back to Richmond forContinue reading “Powerlessness and Unmanageability Pt. II”

A Colorful Past and the Gray Future that Awaits

Today marks the one year anniversary of my first attempt to get sober. This time last year, I was shaking my way through withdrawals and looking towards the future with absolute terror. My success, my marriage and even my very life was on the line. I got my first twenty-four hour chip, expecting it toContinue reading “A Colorful Past and the Gray Future that Awaits”

Letter of Resignation

To Whom it may concern, I regret to inform You that I must submit my resignation as Executive Director of the Center of the Universe, effective immediately. I enthusiastically accepted this position but over the ensuing years have found myself unequal to the task of maintaining constant authoritarian control over my colleagues and the office,Continue reading “Letter of Resignation”

Change: The Verb

I generally enjoy change. I enjoy change to such an extent that it has become a bad habit. Bored at work? Change your job. Not succeeding here? Change your residence. Not doing well in school? Change your enrollment status. I have spent literal decades dreaming of change and seeing myself transformed, almost as if byContinue reading “Change: The Verb”

Climbing the Ladder

A fortnight ago, Dave and I went back to our home town. We walked the trail behind our high school, where we met. For 18 years we’ve walked the same path. At times: happy, heartbroken, content, angry, energized, exhausted. We’ve had so many conversations along the James River. It’s the place where Dave proposed. ThereContinue reading “Climbing the Ladder”

Powerlessness and Unmanageability Pt. I

“We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.”Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions p. 21 I mentioned in an earlier post that I quickly conceded my powerlessness over alcohol. I understood from my earliest days of drinking and using that I did so dissimilarly to my peers. Drinking was not somethingContinue reading “Powerlessness and Unmanageability Pt. I”

To Keep it, You've Got to Give it Away

During my senior year of high school I was unceremoniously booted from the college preparatory school just south of Nashville, Tennessee that I was attending. While my life had already become anything but manageable by this point and I was already neck deep in consequences from my drug and alcohol abuse, my expulsion began aContinue reading “To Keep it, You've Got to Give it Away”