Rescue. Recovery. Redemption.Reformation.
“Every human being must be viewed according to what it is good for. For not one of us, no, not one, is perfect. And were we to love none who had imperfection, this world would be a desert for our love.”Thomas Jefferson
PROGRESS > PERFECTION
It is often said that “Alcoholics Anonymous is a simple program, all you have to do is change your entire life.” My goal is to do just that.
I am a newly recovering alcoholic who has also been diagnosed with manic-depressive illness. I’d like to share my experience, strength and hope with others and possibly even illuminate the often misunderstood worlds of addiction and mental illness to anybody who might care to listen.
I also recognize that each of us bears our own unique burdens and that life’s struggles are not relegated to substance abuse and acute mental illness. I think we can all benefit from a greater awareness of ourselves and how we approach the world around us. I intend to be a messenger of kindness, love and positivity and to share any tidbits of wisdom that I come across. I intend for this to be a community of ideas and positivity, even if it never develops beyond a group of a few individuals.
The goal is spiritual change through action. I’ve tried to “think” my way out of desperation and sadness over my entire life and it has yet to yield any positive results. My life must change spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and physically if I am ever to even have the strength to seek a new way of living. I’ll share about exercise, mindfulness, cuisine, prayer, any variety of books that I find helpful and, of course, my daily experiences that make life interesting and simply beautiful.
I can’t promise you anything. I can’t promise fulfillment or a happy ending. I can only promise that I will do my absolute best to take positive action and share my experiences.
I don’t claim to be any smarter or any better than any of you. In fact, I’m likely inferior to you by most conventional standards. I am not pretending to be any sort of guru or claim any level of enlightenment whatsoever. I was kicked out of a boarding school during my senior year of high school for drug use and being a general waste. I earned a GED and then went on to an unsuccessful military career, a litany of dead-end jobs and missed opportunities, mental anguish and a colorful academic career that includes the full spectrum of grades and numerous withdrawals. It is not an exaggeration to say that I have had more than 100 jobs. I’ve been financially irresponsible and most would probably consider my life in complete disrepair. I am at my bottom and I’m finally ready to be honest and to take an accurate assessment of my situation and how it can improve.
In spite of all this, I have a beautiful wife who has been very successful both academically and professionally. She and I began dating during our sophomore year of high school in 2003 and were married five years ago. She has, quite frankly, been through absolute hell. From financial insecurity to unreliable income, legal consequences and promises unkept, she has remained by my side. I am absolutely unworthy but I am filled with gratitude. We also have a golden retriever named Bun, whom my wife and I consider to be one of the most wonderful gifts in our lives. Then there is Lemur. He is a cat. He vomits on the floor and destroys furniture. I sometimes encounter difficulty appreciating him.
I’m probably not as bad as I think I am and I’m definitely not as good as I’d like to be. I’m just another person sitting on this crazy bus called life searching for truth and peace.
You will always have my honesty as none of this really matters if it is not real.
Who knows where this road takes us?
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